Ponce de Leon lived in the 1500's. He is known for searching for the fountain of youth. He unfortunately died by a poison arrow before he could make the discovery of this fountain. So how does this have any bearing on my situation?
Ponce de Leon syndrome refers to emotional immaturity. Being an adult, but with childlike views of certain situations i.e. being scared of the dark. A situation which happened where I felt I needed to preserve myself - I would have been very scared, petrified of a situation and not know how to handle it. I basically "froze" some aspects of my emotional health at that point - in order to numb the pain. I would have been very young, actually I was 2 years old.
The fear response became suspended in my brain and nervous system. I would have developed a sense of hyper vigilance and the symptoms of this are sleep problems, forgetfulness, headaches, irritability, intrusive thoughts, phobias, anxiety attacks....
I've had it all - at one point or another in my life. The most significant are headaches, intrusive thoughts and anxiety attacks...
But who would have thought that something I've always known about would be causing this fear?
It was dark, the middle of the night. Something has woken me up. I'm petrified - I can't see anything, I don't like to be alone. I'm so scared. I start to cry softly. It's the wolf under my bed again, he's just lying there with his red gleaming eyes - I know this even though I haven't looked under the bed. I'm just too paralysed with fear. Nobody comes to help me, I'm too afraid to call out. This wolf is bad bad bad. I can't even get out of my bed out of fear that he will grab my feet.
As I'm lying in the hypnotherapist's chair I feel everything, the fear, the anxiety, the sweaty palms, the racing heart, my breath is hard and heavy. I'm squirming with fear, my voice is trembling.
I, at my current age, step into the scene and have to look underneath the bed. I don't see the wolf at first. I'm encouraged to look again and I see it there - it's eyes so penetrating.... it just looks at me. Both "little me" and I need to look at this wolf. Little me is petrified and crying, she doesn't want to. But we do. We look at the wolf until he fades away magically. Little me is encouraged by this... We have to look again and the wolf is back - this time he is staring little me down - he doesn't want to leave that easily. But little me is much braver now and she just stares right back at that wolf. Until he starts to fade away and eventually he goes. There is nothing under the bed now.
Then I'm told to imagine wolf in the room again coming towards the bed, but instead of being scared of him, I must smack him hard. When I do this, my hand will go right through the wolf, and that part that I smacked will disappear.
I do this, and true enough, the wolf's nose disappears...
And it dawns on me... He is nothing. He can't touch me, he can't hurt me, he can't do a damn thing to me...
I faced down my fear. I stopped feeding it fear ... and it left... He won't come round again...
That part of me is gone...
I feel emotional, all these years I've carried this with me, not knowing the profound effect those
moments have had on my life and the way I see things. I feel that a part of me is gone, and, even in the happiness, I feel sad. I've been so afraid of nothing, he could never have hurt me. Maybe he wasn't even bad...As the tears roll down my cheeks, it washes the wolf and it's memories away... WOW.
I'm at peace with myself. Profoundly peaceful. I wish everyone could always feel this way...
Something BIG has shifted, this I know without a doubt. I will see what it brings over the next few weeks and months.
A few words by Carol Bridges
“Perhaps you have found something you did not expect. You have looked into the darkness and found your greatest fear. You are being shown what you have placed in the shadows of your consciousness. What you wanted to forget has raised its head, but only to ask if you have gained enough wisdom and strength to deal with it more fully.
It may seem like
a nightmare at first. You may not want to look at it. But you must accept your
dark side, your hidden desires and integrate them with your light side in order
to experience wholeness.”
You are never given a challenge that you do not have the skills to meet. It may seem as though you are shooting in the dark, but go ahead. Use the skills you have been working to develop. This is their supreme test.
A new surge of
power awaits your success. The mask is lifted as you look behind the face of
things to see that your fear was merely self-doubt rather than an external
enemy. Take heart. Lift your bow of confidence, and shoot pure thoughts of
love, strength and highest vision. Aim for the good of the whole.”
