An overcast and rainy day saw my second visit to my hypnotherapy sessions. The rain was bucketing down and it didn't help my 35km highway drive. However I don't let my over active mind and bodily sensations scare me too much anymore, I've learnt to take it easy. When I'm uncomfortable, it's fine, I'll get through it.
As I turned onto the highway I saw it was backed up, I didn't have any time to spare to sit in a traffic jam. So I did what any other self respecting South African in a hurry would do - I reversed back up the offramp, hazards on, well aware of the danger I was potentially causing. I turned my GPS on and had her guide me on roads I had never driven before while I prayed that the lady knew where she was taking me. It turned out she did, I eventually ended up on the correct highway, going in the correct direction.
I arrived with a few minutes to spare, sitting in my car, listening to the rain drops falling on the roof of the car. I used to love this sound when I was small I find myself thinking. I wonder what today is going to bring....I'm nervous at the though of having to "let-go" and be in an induced state of hypnosis. How will it feel? What will I find? What if I can't do it? What if I have a panic attack while we're trying to work .... true to my nature, my normal performance anxiety kicking in.
It's ok I tell myself.
So I enter the room with the couch and sit/lie down. We talk a little about my expectations about hypnosis and she tells me it's the state your mind is in just before you fall asleep. The aim is to bring the conscious mind and sub-conscious mind in line with each other so that they can communicate. I'll be fully aware of my surroundings at all time.
The couch tilts and I'm now lying down.
We do a little hypnosis test for a few minutes, I find it difficult to picture/visualise/imagine/feel the various things she is mentioning - but this is because I want to do it right. I want it to be perfect and work well...I realise I need to stop that and just do it without judging. I'm still quite tense and nervous and every now and then my mind needs to remind me that it's on high alert for anything that may go wrong, it's just waiting to jump into save me.
I get through it ok, I'm relieved when the first trial is done. I realise that I need to relax and learn to let go, nothing is going to happen to me.
Then it's time to listen to a pre-recorded hypnosis track. I get blindfolded and have earphones. I find the voice a bit intimidating (scary-ish) and the sound in the background also has my mind worried. "Oh no, what if I can't do this my mind screams at me? I'm going to have a panic attack, I just know it..." But I don't. I lie there and listen, and eventually I start to relax. However, everytime he wants to take me deeper into relaxation, I get scared at how deep I have to go, what if.... but I just try to relax and go with it.
It's over relatively quickly and I feel as though I've had a deep sleep, even though I was fully aware the entire time. The therapist copied 4 tracks onto a USB that I had brought with. I need to listen to these tracks every day over the next week. It will prepare my mind as to what hypnosis is.
I am glad for this. By the next session, I'll at least not be so nervous and will know more or less what to expect.
I leave, feeling verrrry relaxed.
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